My Love/Hate Relationship with Martha

She uses ingredients I've never even heard of. She can't talk like a normal person and uses words like "gelatinous mix" instead of Jell-O, or "laaaaatex" gloves instead of latex. Half of her stuff is impossible to do for a mere mortal. I usually feel just great about myself (cough) when I catch one of her shows or leaf through a magazine. But there are occasions where she comes up with something I can actually do or improve on. It's a good thing. I can't believe I just said that.


Pumpkin Lanterns
Take an ordinary paper lantern, dress it up with leaves, a stem, and tendrils, and it will assume a totally unexpected identity: a Halloween pumpkin. A few craft supplies are all you need to transform these inexpensive, light-as-air globes.

Glittered Pumpkins
These decorations bring sparkle to tables and serving areas -- and they last far longer than jack-o'-lanterns. To make one, use a medium-size paintbrush to spread a layer of white glue over the surface of a small pumpkin. Hold pumpkin over a paper plate or a sheet of newspaper to catch excess glitter. Sprinkle powder glitter over pumpkin in several colors (we used penny, persimmon, orange, and pink champagne), covering completely. Let dry for about an hour; shake off excess glitter. Coat stem with brown acrylic paint; let dry. Pumpkins will keep for months.

Batty Bags
These batty bags are easy to make and will be gobbled up by hungry trick-or-treaters. Cinch cellophane bags of jelly beans with these easy construction-paper-covered clothespins.

Spider Toothpicks
These obliging arachnids help guests get a handle on snacks. With scissors, cut the bugs off plastic spider rings (available at party stores), then puncture their centers with a needle tool (from crafts stores). Insert the toothpick into the hole from bottom; color tip with a black marker. Set out with nibbles, such as mini mozzarella balls.

Mashed Boo-tatoes
When you've already got costumes on your mind, why not disguise dinner as well?

Pumpkin Pie Potpourri
Use a pumpkin incense burner to suggest the cozy scent of pie just out of the oven.