Learning the drill

Remember the Duck and Cover drills (for both air raids and earthquakes), and fire drills where we had to practice "Stop! Drop! and Roll!" from elementary school days?

Today in elementary school we still have drills. Lotsa drills. Fire drills are especially fun. There are actually 3 different bell alarms that go off (they use a different one each time)... there's a European ambulance one, a longer ehhhhhhh, ehhhhhh, ehhhhhh, ehhhhhh one, and some other one I don't remember.

We no longer have to Stop, Drop, and Roll, but we're supposed to close the doors, turn out the lights, grab our red emergency backpacks, slap either a red or green sign on the door indicating whether or not there are injuries, (and I have two of those doors in the library that need signs), make sure the kids don't make a peep, and march in perfect order to the blacktop (through the supposedly burning hallways?), where we stand in perfect silent lines until the "all clear" is sounded. Did I mention that the principal is standing there with a stopwatch? Well, she is. We're timed. Oh we're very good at fire drills. We've got them nailed. We've got 1,000 kids, and we're slick and fast.

My next favorite are the new "lock down" drills. My chest gets tight even just writing about this one. In a lock down drill as soon as you hear the alarm you've got 10 seconds. TEN! If a little crying Kindergarten kid comes begging to be let in and you've got your doors locked and it's after your 10 second mark, you can't let the kid in! (Apparently they might be a pawn).

All doors must be locked (I have two on opposite sides of the library). All window blinds must be closed. All lights must be out. Including any/all computer monitors. And every single person must be completely out of sight. I'm getting pretty good at this one. I'm also pretty motivated. Why? WHY? Uh, hellooooo.... they always go for the librarian first! Anyway... I start on the left side and lock! Run to the story room and whip those mini blinds shut! Slam off those lights! Run to the other door (praying for all I'm worth that the shooter didn't get there first) and lock! Run to the waaaaay back of the library and jump to reach the mini blinds all (and I mean all) across the back and whip! Whip! Whip! those mini blinds closed.

All the while hoping the teacher has 35 kids crammed in between two bookcases in the middle, making sure that they're 2 feet in from the ends so they're not seen from either door (since there are no blinds on the doors!). This all has to be silent. Silent. Then wait as the principal and visiting district people and police representative come by and rattle the doors and try to peer in through the blinds in the back. Even though you know it's a drill, the adrenalin is soaring and you almost think you're a gonner! Then, inevitably, there's always this.... "Shhhh! We're hiding, Billy. Hold still. No, no, don't cry Emily, this is just pretend!"

A month or so ago I was alone in the library with a visiting board of educ. member (who was apparently, unbeknownst to me, there for a surprise earthquake drill), when the alarm went off. "This is a lock down! This is a lock down!" I start my running and locking and whisking and I said to her, "You might want to leave while you have a chance because I'm not opening that door after 10 seconds." I wasn't laughing. And she left. Hate those drills.

Then there are the earthquake drills. Now these really are fun! Really! These drills are so detailed and planned out. All doors must remain open. Never touch the light switch (on or off). Duck and cover under the table (you try getting 34 kids under 2 tables) or next to the lower bookcases. Wait for the bell. Grab your red emergency pack. Slap your green or red signs on your doors, and proceed silently and orderly through the hallways (don't get me started) to the blacktop in perfect lines.

Now this isn't all. Oh no. We have predetermined 'injuries' such as severed or broken limbs, head injuries, wheelchair and gurney victims. We even have dead students and faculty. We have teams that are 'sweepers' (who get to wear hard hats!!) to comb through every building and locate and account for any injured or trapped. We have runners who carry back and forth the emergency sheets to be filled out by each teacher regarding the location and condition of their students. We have a triage set up with portable bathrooms and medical supplies and even a tent/morgue for the dead people. Each class has earthquake kits that keep students busy while they await their parents eventual arrival. We even have crazy parents! This is the best! They run in screaming and semi violent trying to grab their kids and the neighbor kids! There is real time communication between our school and the district personnel via radio and whatever else they use.

And we're fast. Ohhhh, we're fast. And quiet!! And so efficient. We can evacuate to the field and rescue our wounded in record time. We can even subdue the crazy parent. (Even the one who threatened to pull my hair out last year if I didn't let her take the neighbor kid. She sorta scared me). We're actually... one of the best in the district.

But yesterday happened. Yesterday. We're only 14 miles from the epicenter, so it was a bit strong. Books fell off my shelves... and then the children started screaming. The 1st and 2nd graders were eating lunch on the tables. (Have you ever heard 120 1st graders screaming at once?) And thus began the semi organized bedlam. There were only two of us in the library, me and the ELL teacher. And when it hit, she just stood up and I sort of walked over to the door, grabbing my cell phone and the red emergency pack, and thought for a moment, "Now is it fire open and earthquake closed? Or is it earthquake open and fire closed?" I gave up and just walked out the door over to the screaming menagerie at the lunch tables.

The noon aids were just standing there on their cell phones. There was a bell of some sort that rang and one of the secretaries trying to say "Duck and Cover!" over the loud speaker (For all the good it did). We're supposed to wait for an all clear bell but classes were already on their way outside. Some of the noon aids woke up and tried to get the little ones under the lunch tables -- which they did... taking their lunch trays with them. It was chicken nugget day after all. Why on earth they didn't get them onto the grass in the quad (yes, it was clear of wires and danger of falling stuff) which was literally 2 feet behind the tables, is beyond me. Just stay there under that massive metal overhang kids!

Only a handful of teachers had their backpack. No one thought to hang their red or green signs. I'm not even sure all ducked, let alone covered. No one swept their assigned building or ran information back and forth. No one got to wear a hard hat. I don't think we even know where they really are. No one saw a wheelchair or stretcher and no dead people tent was set up. There was no radio. We had real life crazy parents (like 30 of them) running onto campus and several fathers hopping fences. We had teachers from out of state who had never experienced an earthquake before. The attendance clerk finally made an appearance with her Rolodex and walked up and down asking teachers if all were accounted for. There were about 20 crying 4th graders, about 140 crying kinders, and a principal who couldn't stop laughing.

Absolute chaos. It was the first time there was actually a quake during school and we bombed spectacularly. Maybe it's a good thing. Sure there was no need (this time) for all hardhats and stretchers. We were lucky. But you can bet they'll be a committee to figure it all out. We'll have more drills and we'll get even better and slicker and quieter and faster. We'll discuss new ways and places of ducking and covering and evacuating. (Maybe we'll even get flame-proof hoods, when we evacuate like they have in Japan!) We'll review and go over the fact that we should have carried on with all the details (like hard hats) even if they weren't needed. What better time for a drill? But it really won't matter. Every situation and every occurrence is different when it comes right down to it. It's real life. You just kind of have to roll with it.